Diary of Jane

But hey baby, you post as many honesty blogs as you need to.  I hope they make you feel better. 

Lets break it down shall we?

I continually let people treat me like shit:  I’m not letting you.  :)

I expect you to make me feel better every single time:  Ditto babe.  I’m the first person you come crying to.

You’re glad I’m leaving:  Good, you should be.  You caused it.

You got to see the real me:  More like I got to see the real you.  I’ve always been the person I am now.  You are the one proclaimed that you changed back to an asshole.  And you like it.

You dont’ have to be bothered with me:  Well, then I’m glad I was finally able to do something right for a change.

Have fun with the faggot:  If by here you mean Jarrod, I’m not with Jarrod.  If by here you mean Con.  Fuck you because Con is more man than you’ll ever be.  You don’t even know him so I suggest you back the fuck off.

You picked a great one, LOL:  Indeed.

Here’s a little message of my own:

Its funny how you continue to treat me like shit and then expect me to be sorry for the way I am.  You can ask anyone, I always have been a great friend, I always will be a great friend. 

And before you laugh it off, I suggest you take a look at the past 3 years and ask yourself who has been your best fucking friend.  Last night you told me “fuck you for hating on my friends”  well at least I can tell you why:

1)  After you left for bootcamp, Morgy or wtfever her name is now, told everyone you were a girl.  I defended your ass.

2)  Evie signed on two days ago, and its cute how she claims she wants to be with you but won’t.  You’d think she’d want to be your girlfriend while she could before you left.  Oh and its funny how her status NEVER says “brayden, floating hearts” But oh wait, that’s right, her and noah are just friends.

3)  Its also pretty damn funny how every girl on your top replaces you as soon as you leave for a couple of days.  So if they’re your real friends, man, fuck me, I must have been a terrible friend to you.

4)  Every girl you have ever liked as fucked you over.  Cindy, Riley, Sam (from hprp), Marie, …. every other girl I’ve ever had to talk to.  And before you even fucking go there, it doesn’t matter what they did, all that matters is that in the end, they werent there for you. 

You don’t get to assign value to the mistakes people made.  I honestly do not even give a fuck anymore that Jarrod cheated.  It doesn’t bother me.  This is just roleplay.  So if you can forgive everyone of those girls, then you don’t get to tell me I can’t forgive Jarrod.  You’re being a damn hypocrite.

Oh and as for picking Jarrod over you every time, HA!  You make it sound like I even have a choice.  I get blocked by you.  You want me to rely on just you, well I can’t.  After I lose my best friend, who am I supposed to go to?  Jarrod was there when you weren’t.  So blame yourself.

You only get one life.  So run your own.  Back off mine.  You don’t even give a fuck about me anyways, so none of this should bother you.  I’ve always said that I’ll be here if you need me, but I have to take that back now.

I can’t keep putting myself through this for you.  I’m done.  Come saturday, I am going to delete your screen name and I will not im you for any reason.  I suggest you do the same with mine.  So yuck it up. 

P.S.  You’re 18 now.  Jail Bait.

I am kicking myself for jumping the gun like I did.  how am I supposed to clean up this mess?  I can’t hurt either one of them.  Maybe I should just go? alakdf;a I wish I had someone who could help me through this.  Why does he always affect me like this?  We break up, then we make up.  But I killed it this time.  He wants to hate me, I can tell.  It was never that he wasn’t good enough.  It was that I didn’t want to be alone.  And I love con too.  I dunno if it’ll ever be as deep as what I feel for Jarrod.  But I already promised him a baby.  dumb dumb dumb.  I’m in between a rock and hard place.  Damn it.  Someone tell me what to do.

I’m gonna be a mom!

<3

Oh please oh please do not tell me that we are at THAT stage of our relationship.   You know the, “you’re driving me nuts, I need my space stage, but i’m not gonna tell you, I’m just gonna stop coming online as often?”  Yuppers, I noticed.  Fastest way to kill this relationship.  its made it way through the grapevine that you have another account, that’s cool, Im fine with that.  But don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’re spending all your time on there.  Don’t expect me to just wait around while you have your fun on the other one.  I won’t do it.

its strange how you can be so close to someone and now they want nothing to do with you.  We broke each others hearts.  Only difference is, I never stopped being there for you, you’re the one that left.  its cute how you think that I want to get with you, but I’m happily taken.  He holds me, tells me I’m beautiful, and laughs at my jokes.  He’ll never leave when I need him the most.  He’s damn near perfect and the only guy for me.

Today, I took my little sister to see New Moon. A few minutes into the movie, while there was a close-up shot of Edward’s face, a nerf gun dart hit him straight in the eye. I turned around to see about a 70-year-old-old man wielding a nerf gun who shouted “GO TEAM JACOB!” and hobbled out of the theatre on his cane. MLIA